"The best way to predict the future is to create it"

-Abraham Lincoln (source) or, you know, Peter Drucker (source)

Visualize Yourself Doing, Not Achieving

Sounds like it's time for me to visualize apply for 3 jobs tonight, due to this interesting strategy to help achieve goals, from Barking Up the Wrong Tree's list of 10 quick ways to improve your life:

Visualize Yourself Doing, Not Achieving."People who visualize themselves taking the practical steps needed to achieve their goals are far more likely to succeed than those who simply fantasize about their dreams becoming a reality."

The Habit Loop

An example from the fascinating New York Times article, "How Companies Learn Your Secrets", of a habit loop:

Cleaning has its own habit loops that already exist. In one video, when a woman walked into a dirty room (cue), she started sweeping and picking up toys (routine), then she examined the room and smiled when she was done (reward). In another, a woman scowled at her unmade bed (cue), proceeded to straighten the blankets and comforter (routine) and then sighed as she ran her hands over the freshly plumped pillows (reward). 

And later, the author's attempt to disrupt his own habit loop: 

Deciphering cues is hard, however. Our lives often contain too much information to figure out what is triggering a particular behavior. Do you eat breakfast at a certain time because you’re hungry? Or because the morning news is on? Or because your kids have started eating? Experiments have shown that most cues fit into one of five categories: location, time, emotional state, other people or the immediately preceding action. So to figure out the cue for my cookie habit, I wrote down five things the moment the urge hit: 

Where are you? (Sitting at my desk.)
What time is it? (3:36 p.m.)
What’s your emotional state? (Bored.)
Who else is around? (No one.)
What action preceded the urge? (Answered an e-mail.)

Fascinating. I'm tempted to try to use this to develop a habit routine of my own... 

"How I organized my entire life"

-a wishful post, from Modern Parents Messy Kids via pinterest


One thing I've picked up in unemployment is meticulous organization. Yesterday, I wanted to clean my room. But there was practically nothing to clean. Everything had a place, and everything was in that place. Have no fear, I ended up pulling out one of my 4 so-far-avoided small boxes of "stuff" and went through things I'd brought back from a trip to the UK a few years ago. But this high level of cleanliness and organization had never happened to me in my life before. It's kind of amazing. And not really that hard to maintain - once everything has a place it will fit, it's not that hard to periodically pick up and put it all back, especially when utilizing Gretchen Rubin's one-minute rule ("It’s very simple: I must do any task that can be finished in one minute. Hang up my coat, read a letter and toss it, fill in a form, answer an email, note down a citation, pick up my phone messages, file a paper, put a dish in the dishwasher, ...") to keep things from accumulating . I'm not particularly sure why I became so organized - it has probably been some sort of subconscious reaction to culture shock, spending more time at home, increased "free time," procrastination, the desire to feel in control, wishing to never lose my keys again, or some mixture of all of the above. 


I hadn't really thought of what it would take to organize my entire life though, at least in those terms. The post mentioned above however, lists these, as well as some other aspects of a organized life, beyond a tidy room: 

I've compiled and categorized enough healthy, inexpensive and easy recipes that I have a 90 day dinner menu (complete with theme nights like pasta Monday and slow-coooker Thursday) and I have the grocery lists to match.

There is nothing in my house that we don't use.  I've ferociously weeded out the clutter and sent it packing via Craig's List or Goodwill.

I now have a weekly schedule with time carved out for blogging, housework, play dates, park time, library time, and other activities we've been wanting to try but never got around to.

I also joined a gym and started exercising regularly (part of the new weekly schedule).  The kids love playing at the drop off center while I'm burning calories.

I went through all 2,000 of my digital photos, edited them, imported them to yearly photobooks and backed them all up online.  I've also caught up on my personal blog and am regularly contributing to it.

Last but not least, the hubs and I have a set-in-stone date night that we never miss and we've recently instituted family game night.

Although my job search is my first priority, and becoming more and more important every day, perhaps a little more organization in my eating habits, stuff accumulation, weekly schedule, exercise routine, photo organization and preservation, and social life are next. Especially a weekly schedule! :)

"Elegance is an attitude"

-Longines advertisement

As a teenager, I found that phrase on an advertisement for a watch in one of my parent's magazines. I tore it out, and put it up on the wall in my bathroom. That original is still there, but I've since found another one to keep in my current bathroom. I was reminded of it, when I saw this on pinterest (ironically, after thrifting 3 dresses) yesterday:

Book Review: Operation Beautiful

What I wanted: A book full of beautiful, affirming, positive post-it notes, and dramatic stories about the women who left them, or found them.

What I found: After months of reading snippets here and there (which the book lends itself to easily), I finally finished this book. I'm personally a huge fan of Operation beautiful, and thus had pretty high expectations for this book. The book is arranged into 2 kinds of material - some material written by Caitlin which is a combination of her life experiences and expert advice, and stories and notes submitted by others. I didn't really expect the parts written by Caitlin, and while they boosted my "You're so smart you already knew all this" ego, they were a little boring in general. I really did like her emphasis on naming and confronting "fat talk" though.

I wanted this book to bring me to tears every time I touched it. I wanted to relate to the women in the book. Perhaps because a few of the stories were a little too dramatic - a chapter on eating disorders? stories about obsessively working out? - not really something I relate to easily, I never felt like any of the stories or post-its in the book were about me. Which I found disappointing, because I feel very strongly about freeing women from the guilt and feelings of inadequacy that naturally result from most women deciding it is very important to look like a Victoria's Secret (or worse, runway) model.

Another reason for my mild dissatisfaction was the emphasis on physical health. For me, body image is an issue related primarily to my emotional and mental health. I think the "Transforming the way you see yourself" subtitle seems to suggest more of an emphasis on changes to one's thought process than the book contains.

Overall, the book was pretty good, and very positive, which itself is pretty novel. It addresses a very important issue, albeit a bit incompletely. I particularly enjoyed a few of the mantras at the end:

• Change the way you see, not the way you look.
• The most amazing surprises are discovered when you blaze your own trail.
• You already have everything you need.
• Nothing is more powerful than hope.

My biggest concern now is which friend to pass it onto next :)

"May you live all the days of your life."

-Jonathan Swift